Writing, Living, and Diving Deep

Early on, I wrote a letter to myself – and when I say “I”, I think I’m referring to my most-inner soul, God, or One-ness because I have no idea how I could have generated these thoughts on my own. I wrote it and left it for a long time and found it a few months ago. I was shocked to see what I had written – about myself, about my future – and couldn’t believe how that level of calm insight and vision could have been written by me.

I printed it out and it is pinned beside my bedroom door so I can read it everyday. It is like my daily prayer, my daily reminder of who I am and where I am going. And every so often, I read it and find that, it’s true! I have accomplished exactly what I wrote. I feel exactly the way I said I would feel. I have met exactly who I said I would meet.

We spent the afternoon at the Ballard Locks, watching an old Gatsby-esque wooden boat leave Seattle on its way to New York.

There is still plenty more in my “vision for the future” that is unrealized. I need to get serious about diet and exercise – I’m far healthier than ever I have been but still my main exercise is walking and that is not enough. I do not yet have a fulfilling creative job that inspires and supports a better humanity. I have not established the most life-giving daily routine and get stuck in lazy patterns too often.

But I have also introduced many new patterns into my life. I read more often; I make an effort to clear my desk by the end of every evening; Gabrielle is teaching me yoga, cooking, and how to live openly; Brian is teaching me music, socializing, how to live in my heart; and I write always.

I’ve always wanted to write and everyone in the entire world has always told me to write. It’s what I was good at in school, it’s what my father encouraged me to do. But it always seemed like such a chore. I think because it is work and I did not have a growth mindset. I thought that if it was difficult, then I must not be good at it.

But I can be good at anything I want to be, if I’m willing to put in the work.

Lunch

I have been trying to make writing a habit, something I want to do, and it is working. When I write, I am closer to that True Self that I have talked about and is talking.

Writing is an exercise that helps untangle everything. It guides me, leads me where I want to go.

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